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For Those Of Us Of A 'Certain Age'

Discussion in 'Other Chatter' started by Alan De Enfield, Aug 1, 2019.

  1. Alan De Enfield

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    A guy went into a French seafood restaurant and asked to see the
    dishes of the day. The waiter wheeled over a trolley with a large tank
    full of various species, and the man examined the dishes.

    "I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" said
    the man. "An excellent choice, they have a delicate, mild flavour."
    replied the waiter and called out "Gervais!"

    A little French chef appeared with a large knife, the waiter
    instructed the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip.
    Gervais was just about to slice at the poor squid when he noticed a tear
    running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admitted that he hadn't
    the heart to kill the squid.

    "Not to worry" says the waiter, and called out "Hans!!" at which an
    enormous German bloke came out of the kitchen. "Sir", said the waiter,
    "This is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans kill that little green squid with
    the hairy lip!"

    The dishwasher wielded a huge rolling pin and was just about to
    bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringed back
    and gave a little cry. "I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid"
    Hans admitted, his lower lip trembling.

    "Well sir," said the waiter, "it just shows......


    That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais, with mild green,
    hairy lipped squid!"
     
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  2. Kepis

    Kepis Bushcrafter through and through

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    Who, like me, sang the last paragraph :biggrin:
     
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  3. sunndog

    sunndog Full Member

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    Yep
     
  4. Billy-o

    Billy-o Native

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    Inside, though :lol:
     
  5. Toddy

    Toddy Mod
    Mod

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    Well, we really had to :D
     
  6. Robbi

    Robbi Full Member

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    I did ☺
     
  7. Ettrick reiver

    Ettrick reiver Full Member

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    Guilty as charged :)
     
  8. Damascus

    Damascus Native

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    I had a real chuckle, I thought I’d read it to my wife, that went on stoney ground with a big grown!
     
  9. Alan De Enfield

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    Could you not ?
     
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  10. petrochemicals

    petrochemicals Full Member

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    Thank goodness, I only get part of it. But one of these days ...........
     
  11. Alan De Enfield

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    This may help (starts at 45 seconds ends at 60 seconds)

     
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  12. Winnet

    Winnet Forager

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    A veritable blast from the past.

    G

    Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk
     
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  13. Woody girl

    Woody girl Full Member

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    Groan. (Secret chuckle ) and why do we sing it??? I didn't even have a TV in those days but I still knew it. ... I reckon it was a conspiracy to make women do the washing up. We have all been indoctrinated! Just like the

    Nuts! .....whole hazel nuts! Cadburys take them, and cover them in chocolate. Jingle

    Or ...ppppppick up a penguin.

    How come all the ones I remember are to do with chocolate? ?????
     
  14. Keith_Beef

    Keith_Beef Native

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    Great new word: groan + frown = grown.
     
  15. Alan De Enfield

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    What has a Hazelnut in every bite ?

    Squirrel Poo !! (or a Topic bar)
     
  16. Woody girl

    Woody girl Full Member

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    Damm! I'll never eat squirrel poo again! :) :) .. though I'm partial to a topic... havnt seen one for years are they still around?
     
  17. Alan De Enfield

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  18. Woody girl

    Woody girl Full Member

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    Aaargh! Prices have gone up somewhat!!! Oh it's a box full. .. I only want one! Maybe I'll pass on that one and stick to the squirrel poo.... well it would if it was fresh.
    :) :) :) yuk why am I saying this???? it sounds funny in my head.... I'll get my coat.......
     
  19. SimonL

    SimonL Full Member

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    oh dear, what really surprised me was it only took the first five words of the last paragraph for me to start singing - I must be getting old !
    since we seem to have an audience "of a certain age" here, how about the wonderful Smash robots (go on - confess if you're singing the slogan...)
     
  20. Deekin

    Deekin Full Member

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    Hmm.
    Google "Four Sprung Duck Technique" , and the Abscess Honda joke.
     
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