Stoopid jokes

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nickliv

Settler
Oct 2, 2009
755
0
Aberdeenshire
As the cracker season is approaching, here's somewhere for all your stupid jokes.

What's black and white and eats like a horse?



A zebra

your turn now.
 

Barn Owl

Old Age Punk
Apr 10, 2007
8,245
5
58
Ayrshire
Great..another chance to roll out my fave..

Why do Elephants paint their testes red? :eek:


To hide up the cherry trees of course..:rolleyes:


What makes the loudest noise in the jungle?


A Giraffe eating cherries..:yikes::lmao:
 

Melonfish

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Jan 8, 2009
2,460
1
Warrington, UK
why did the monkey fall out the tree? ... it was dead.
why did the squirrel fall out the tree? ...thought it was a monkey
why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? ... holding the first squirrels hand.
why did the third squirrel fall out the tree? ...he thought it was a game.


I met a Dutch girl the other week with inflatable shoes. i phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs..
So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays"

this one is so awful!
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and and a deep southern drawl announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
 

Shambling Shaman

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
May 1, 2006
3,859
5
55
In The Wild
www.mindsetcentral.com
why did the monkey fall out the tree? ... it was dead.
why did the squirrel fall out the tree? ...thought it was a monkey
why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? ... holding the first squirrels hand.
why did the third squirrel fall out the tree? ...he thought it was a game.


I met a Dutch girl the other week with inflatable shoes. i phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs..
So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays"

this one is so awful!
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and and a deep southern drawl announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

this one is so awful!
!!!


Sorry - Plz Close Melonfish wins



:)
 

bb07

Native
Feb 21, 2010
1,322
1
Rupert's Land
this one is so awful!
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and and a deep southern drawl announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Bad?Maybe...one of my grandfather's favourite jokes:
What did the Indian say when his dog fell off the cliff?-doggone
Now that's bad:rolleyes:
 
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Shambling Shaman

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
May 1, 2006
3,859
5
55
In The Wild
www.mindsetcentral.com
kk, just asked my eldest (7) for jokes...

what do you get if you cross two gold fish with an elephant?

swimming trunks!


What do Sheep like to eat...

a big Barrr of chocolate.




doggone = is bad but still mad me smile :)
 

Wild Thing

Native
Jan 2, 2009
1,144
0
Torquay, Devon
What's yellow and dangerous...Shark infested Custard

What's yellow and goes Slam,Slam,Slam,Slam...a 4 door banana


What's the difference between a woman with PMT and a Terrorist.........You can negotiate with terrorists.

Two blondes walk into a building... you thought they would have seen it.

When is a door not a door...when it's ajar

My dogs got no nose..., Your dogs got no nose, how does he smell?...bloody awful.

Enough from me...i'm off
 
May 14, 2006
311
4
55
Consett County Durham
Think they're bad eh?!? . . . .

What goes 99 clump . . . . . . . . . . .A centipede with a wooden leg
How do you keep an idiot in suspense . . . . . . . . .I'll tell you tomorrow
what do you call a deer with no eyes . . . . . . . .No Idea
What do you call a dog with no ears . . . . . . .Anything you like , it won't come to you
what do you call a blind dinosour . . . . . . . Doyouthinkesaurus
How does Santa like his pizza . . . . . . . Deep pan crisp & even
What's yellow and swings thru the jungle. . . . . . . . . . . TARZIPAN!!

Now they're baaad :)

Kev
 
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